YOU WANNA HEAR SOMETHIN’ FUNNY?
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I had a pokemon. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be - that wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was. Third, Gary Oak was unconditionally and irrevocably a douchenozzle.
Reblogging for the comment
How old are you?
“ten”
How long have you been ten?
“…”
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TEN
Misty looked at Ash, his breathing still heavy from carrying her on his bike as fast as he could through the long grass outside of Pallet Town.
“You’re eyes are impossibly huge and black,” Misty said. “Your hair is… incredibly pointy, and doesn’t need product. Your face changes size and shape based on your feelings… and sometimes you speak like - like you’re from the 90’s. You never spend money on anything; you don’t go to the bathroom.”
The silence hung there, thick and heavy like a Snorlax blocking the bike path.
“How old are you?” Misty asked, not sure if she wanted to know.
“Ten,” Ash replied, with a slight smirk and an almost amused tone.
Misty new that wasn’t true. Ash wasn’t like the other boys her age. He wasn’t even like her older sisters who ran the gym in Cerulean City. He was wiser and his passion was genuine.
Ash didn’t just want to catch them all, he needed to. He was going to be the best there ever was no matter how long it took, which gave Misty this nagging in the back of her mind. She had to know for sure.
“How long have you been ten?” she asked. Her voice weak, knowing full well the answer could change everything she thought she knew.
“A while…” Ash said. His voice trailing off, as if he were losing himself in a flood of memories.
Misty let out a faint gasp. She knew now. She was certain.
“I know what you are,” she declared, as if whatever had been holding her back from accepting the truth, finally let go of her hand and let her fall right down the Diglett hole.
Ash eyes were alive now, flickering like the flame on a Charmander’s tale.
He stared right into her and said, ”Say it… out loud. Say it.”
Misty’s heart was pounding louder than the thud of a Marowak’s bone club attack.
Despite the now eerily silent meadow, she could barely be heard as she whispered, “Pokemon Trainer.”
(via novashadra)
Source: setyourphaserstostun
Source: pancakestein
Cards Against Humanityis a party game for horrible people.
Unlike most of the party games you’ve played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends.
The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a Black Card, and everyone else answers with their funniest White Card.
And it is distributed under a Creative Commons license, meaning it is not only free to play, but remixing, and changing the game are more than just encouraged.The official hard copy has been sold out for a while now, but a PDF of all the cards, and instructions distributed by the creators for making your own deck can be found here.
You’re welcome, and enjoy!
(via penguinlovinmilk)
Source: yourmargins
- If a clock gets hungry it goes back four seconds.
- Once you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen the mall.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- Jumping off a Paris bridge makes you in Seine.
- Bakers trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Your calendar’s days are numbered.
- I break into song if I can’t find the key.
- A dyslexic poet writes inverse.
(via kouhaihime)
Source: thewhatever
[Help!] I’m Not Sure Who I Like Anymore (´･ω･`)
The fifth and final part of the saga from 2ch. Make sure to start from the first thread. (Posts from the thread-starter are labeled #OP, the people replying to him are labeled #2ch.)
#2ch
Substituting for the OP.
Not really sure what the title means…
#2ch
ARREST HIM ALREADY.
- Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
- Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
- Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
- Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
- Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
- Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
- An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
- A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
- Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
- An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
- A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
- Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
- An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
- Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
- Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
- Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
- A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
- A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
- Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time travelling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
- Moffat & Gatiss: You have two cows. The cows are in love with each other, even though they are both the same gender, one is asexual, and the other keeps insisting it's straight. One of the cows fakes its own death to save the other. You and your neighbour die of feels.
- Supernatural: You have two cows. They are brothers. They are in love with each other, as well as with two angel cows. Then they all die.
- Matt Bellamy: You have two cows. You watch one get shot in the bollocks.
- Dominic Howard: You have two cows. You start to cry because cow print makes you look cheap.
- Chris Wolstenholme: You have two cows. Now you have two cows and 1,000,000 calves.
- Tom Kirk: You have two cows. You take pictures of them with instagram and make an irrelevant but true remark about Dominic Howard's sexuality.
- Morgan Nicholls: He has two dinosaurs because fuck you
- Homestuck: You have a cow. You spend weeks getting to know and love the cow. Then you're introduced to three more cows, who you also come to know and love. Then you get twelve more cows, and you think, hey, this is cool I guess, never can have too many cows, but all of a sudden everyone is interested in your cows and which cows should be having sexy funtimes with which other cows. Meanwhile the cow god has been indiscriminately killing and resurrecting all your cows until you're basically numb to it. Now everyone is fighting over your cows, and while that's going on you get four more cows, and then twelve more cows, and now you're swimming in cows and you don't know what to make of all these cows, and where are your original four cows, you can't find them under this mountain of cows, oh noooooo.
- Once-ler: You never expected to be as obsessed with this cow as you are, and now all your friends judge you for liking this cow but you can't stop having feelings so you find other people who might understand how much you need this cow in your life and then everyone gets together and has a festival of emotions for this cow that was merely intended to be a villain in a kids movie.
Source: british-tea-power
lion hearted girl: homestuck summer camp would literally devolve into a screaming...
homestuck summer camp would literally devolve into a screaming abattoir of ship wars and gradually escalate into gladiator-esque bloodbaths to prove whose ship is the most worthy
a week later a group of amateur hikers stumble into a razed clearing, embers from the burning tents still flickering…
Hi there, we’re the Homestuck fandom.
We’re not popular.
At all.
Nope. Our fandom is actually incredibly..
Puzzlingly small, wouldn’t you say?
As for our fanartists, I’d say that they were really
quite
utterly
mediocre
and
quite
shitty,
really.
As for our cosplayers,
they’re
really
nothing
to
get
excited
or
worked-up
over.
As a fandom, we’re heartless
and
bloodthirsty
plus we
hate
other
fandoms.
As for our AUs and other fandomly talents, they
leave
much
to
be
desired.
Wouldn’t you agree?
(via toodlefluff)
Source: nickandros
Everyone needs to watch this - especially women. Reblog this video please. I swear you’ll cover your webcam after watching is - or better yet, just throw away your laptop.
(via yisusfishus)
Source: staypozitive
Just watching life pass me by, watching the people I love grow up. 
